Chapter 11: Interpersonal Conflict
Interpersonal conflict includes arguments, disagreeable communication, hostile episodes, and pervasive tension. Conflicts can vary in their foundation in behaviors, relationship roles and expectations, or undesirable traits. As communication episodes involving disagreement, interference, and negative emotion, interpersonal conflicts are among the most challenging interactions people have. Conflict management is embodied in people’s goals, communication strategies and tactics, and conflict styles. Conflict dynamics are evident in the reinforcing relationship between power and conflict avoidance, patterns of behavior within conflict interactions, and the emergence of serial arguments over time. This chapter offers strategies for understanding conflicts, expanding options for conflict management, and promoting healthy conflicts.
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HDYR Scale 11.1: Conflict Styles
Questionnaire
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HDYR Scale 11.2: Self-efficacy and conflict communication
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Communication In Action Forms
CIA Form 11.1: Recognizing Your Conflict Goals
CIA Form 11.2: Analyzing Conflict Behavior
CIA Form 11.3: Building Your Conflict Toolkit
CIA Form 11.4: Diagnosing Serial Conflicts
CIA Form 11.5: Knowing Your Own Strength
Connect with Theory
Connect with Theory 11.1
Multiple goals theory suggests that people often pursue multiple goals simultaneously during their interactions with others. According to the theory, there are three types of goals that are relevant to a wide variety of conversations: instrumental goals (e.g., providing comfort, giving advice, persuading others), identity goals (e.g., maintaining a desirable self-image, limiting face threats), and relational goals (e.g., initiating, intensifying, changing, or ending a relationship). For example, when helping a friend through a break-up, you may think about what to say to make your friend feel better about the situation, how to be respectful of his/her way of coping and avoid being overly critical, and how to keep your friendship in a satisfactory condition. The theory argues that various goals can be incompatible with each other. For example, your desire to be respectful of your date may be at odds with your desire to escalate relational intimacy by initiating a first kiss. Multiple goals theory provides a framework for understanding communicative behaviors, such as how multiple goals shape message production (e.g., compliance-seeking messages), evaluating the effectiveness of communication based on whether it achieves its goals, and assessing how goals shape the meaning of communication. For example, the theory has been used to examine how primary care physicians pursue multiple goals in cost-of-care conversations with patients (Scott et al., 2021), how people manage multiple goals when concealing or revealing secrets (Caughlin & Vangelisti, 2009), and how HIV disclosure messages that address various goals elicit different reactions from the recipients (Caughlin et al., 2009).
References and other suggested readings:
Caughlin, J. P. (2010). A multiple goals theory of personal relationships: Conceptual integration and program overview. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27(6), 824–848. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407510373262
Caughlin, J. P., & Vangelisti, A. L. (2009). Why people conceal or reveal secrets: A multiple goals perspective. In T. Afifi & W. Afifi (Eds.), Uncertainty, information management, and disclosure decisions: Theories and applications (pp. 279–299). Routledge.
Caughlin, J. P., & Wilson, S. R. (2021). Multiple goals theories: From message production to evaluation. In P. Schrodt, K. M. Scharp, & D. O. Braithwaite (Eds.), Engaging theories in interpersonal communication (pp. 52–63). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003195511-5
Caughlin, J. P., Bute, J. J., Donovan-Kicken, E., Kosenko, K. A., Ramey, M. E., & Brashers, D. E. (2009). Do message features influence reactions to HIV disclosures? A multiple-goal perspective. Health Communication, 24(3), 270–283. https://doi.org/10.1080/10410230902806070
Guntzviller, L. M. (2017). Testing multiple goals theory with low-income, mother-child Spanish-speakers: Language brokering interaction goals and relational satisfaction. Communication Research, 44(5), 717–742. https://doi.org/10.1177/0093650215608238
Mikucki‐Enyart, S. L. (2018). Parents‐in‐law’s topic avoidance: Understanding the role of interaction goals and relational characteristics. Personal Relationships, 25(3), 433–457. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12252 Scott, A. M., Harrington, N. G., & Spencer, E. A. (2021). Primary care physician’s strategic pursuit of multiple goals in cost-of-care conversations with patients. Health Communication, 36(8), 927–939. https://doi.org/10.1080/10410236.2020.1723051